Oh my dear sweet little one,
Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Your daddy and I had waited quite some time to find out you were joining our family. The day we found out was the best day ever; we made plans together and were so excited to tell your big sister you were joining our family. I was SO excited to meet you, to hold you in my arms, to feel that unconditional love that comes from being a parent. Your dad and I were so excited to add you to our little family, to have your big sister meet you and be able to dote on you for your whole life. It's crazy to think that you were only a part of me for 8 short weeks but you made a lasting impression on my life and are forever and always in my heart.
Today was supposed to be filled with joy and happiness as family members saw pictures of your beautiful face and for us to see all the exciting congratulations from friends. I envisioned your daddy bringing your sister to the hospital to meet you for the first time and seeing her face light up as she met you for the first time. But none of that happened and I am so heartbroken. I couldn't let the day pass without taking some time to make sure you were acknowledged. It is important that you know how much you are loved and missed.
The ache I felt when I found out that Heavenly Father had other plans for you is something I never thought I'd experience. That ache has stayed with me for quite some time. Thankfully your big sister and your dad have consumed a lot of my time since, but there are still moments, almost daily, when the world is quiet and my mind drifts to thinking of you and what life would be like if you had been able to join our family. It seems unfair that this joyous occasion was robbed from us, but I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for both of us. I don't know what that plan is for either of us, and some days that scares me, but I'm learning, ever so slowly, to trust in His will. You will always be a part of me little one, even when we are blessed with other children, you will always be in my heart as my first child I didn't get to meet. Thank you for blessing my life in ways I could not have imagined.
Love,
Your mommy
